Emails of the YEAR!

Reversed for easy reading "-----Original Message----- From: Mr. A Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 10:59 AM To: Mr. J Cc: Mr. C Subject: Mr J Hey man, I just want to let you know that we here in tech support believe Nancy Z, from < Customer Company Name >, acct. # < Customer Account Number > has become a resource hog. Furthermore, we think she is either 1, using us for presales advice and then buying from another source, or 2, has purchased product from another < company >, and is calling our support team for trouble shooting guidance. Her last invoice is dated 11/11/03 yet she has called in 8 times since then looking for support on other items. We generally don't complain about that but it seems this woman is quite rude at times. We always act professional yet she seems to be on the war path. If she continues, we may begin to play hardball ourselves. I mean their company has done 17k worth of business since Jan 1. Not a big customer on your end, but a frequent flier on ours, with a tude. Just giving you a heads up that's all. I you want to call her on this we certainly have the documentation to back it up. See ya, tough guy. A- Mr. A < Company Name > Technical Support Mgr. < Phone Number > -----Original Message----- From: Mr. J Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 11:34 AM To: Mr. D Subject: FW: Mr J Mr D, Nancy strikes again. Can we tell a customer that we don't want to do business with them. or can we start charging for her tech support calls? Mr. J < Company Name > Sales < Phone Number > < Fax Number > < email > -----Original Message----- From: Mr. D Sent: Thursday, December 18, 2003 4:52 PM To: Mr. M Cc: Mr J Subject: #< Customer Account Number > < Customer Company Name > Mr. M, Is it OK to stop doing business with this customer? Based on their revenue vs. required support, I do not see where we turn a profit on them. If you approve this, I will make sure everything is clean in Credit before we do so. Thanks! From: Mr. M Sent: Friday, December 19, 2003 8:29 AM To: Mr. D Cc: Mr. J; Mr A Subject: RE: #< Customer Account Number > < Customer Company Name > We should probably fire this customer in the same way that we fired < Customer R >........ Tell her that moving forward all support calls will be invoiced at a rate of $30 per call. For every $5K of business she does with us she can have one call -- bitching not included, for every $20K she gets one call --- limited bitching included.. And if she does $1MM or more, she can bitch all she wants.. " The names were changed to protect me and my job. :) Please forgive some of the wording. I left all the words (except proper names and information) in their original form. Wouldn't you love to do this with your worst customer? hehe Tech Support Call: $30 Smacking down your customer when they cross the line: $50 Firing your customer: Priceless